Basic Manners 101

Women notice men who are courteous and confident.  Knowing the basics of good manners will take you far, especially when dining out.  Dining can be a fairly intimate experience, and one which will provide her with an overall view of your general mastery of manners.  If you dive into your food like you have not eaten in days, she will wonder what else in your life you do with abandon.  Courtesy and confidence is the image you want to convey.

1. Manners begin in the car, if you are riding together.  Open her door for her.  If she looks uncomfortable or tells you not to bother, gently assure her that it is as much for your benefit and that you enjoy offering this courtesy. Do not make a grand gesture, be dramatic or remind her of it later. That will send the message that you are trying to get her attention or approval and that is a turn-off.  Be confident and enjoy being a man who knows how to treat a woman. By the way, the same rule goes for the door to the restaurant, theatre or wherever you are taking her.  

2. When approaching the table, step to her side and pull her chair out.  Which chair?  Whichever provides the best view of the restaurant or scenery outdoors. Do not try to move the chair once she is on the chair…it will only make the woman feel self-conscious. Just keep your hand on the back of the chair until she is positioned safely at the table.  A word about booths that have a padded seat on one side and chairs on the other:  as a man, you are to always take the chair and offer her the padded seat.  She is a woman, so be sure to treat her like one.

3. Navigating the table setting is simple…just remember to work from the outside in on both sides of the plate.  Salad fork, then dinner fork and anything at the top of your table setting is for a dessert course.  Use your knife to cut, not your fork, cutting a single bite at a time.  If you need a steak knife or accidentally drop a utensil, merely ask for another. Regarding bread plates and drink glasses/cups, I learned a neat trick from a friend of mine: when in doubt, place your hands out of view of your dining companion and bring your index finger on each hand to your thumb, keeping your other fingers straight.  You’ll see a “b” appear on your left (Bread plate), and a “d” appear on the right hand (Drinks).  Now, isn’t that easy?  You’ll never mistakenly use your neighbor’s bread plate or wine glass again!

4. Remember to keep your elbows off the table, until everyone finishes their meal. There is nothing that says “Jethro Clampett” like a guy who leans his entire forearm across the table between him and his plate and begins eating as if this is his last meal.  This will not impress the woman sitting across from you or any other dining companions.  Once the plates are taken away and you are enjoying cocktails and conversation, follow the lead of the others in your party.  If they have elbows on the table or are leaning on the table, feel free to follow suit.

5. Lastly, and most importantly, never blow your nose at the dinner table, especially in the restaurant dinner napkin.  Instead, politely excuse yourself and head to the men’s room to take care of your post nasal drip.  If you sneeze, use your napkin, ask your server for another, and go wash your hands.  Women will notice and appreciate this polite gesture. The same goes for bouts of gas or indigestion…excuse yourself and head to the men’s room. 

These 5 tips will help you face any dining experience with confidence.  Use common sense and make sure your companion is comfortable and happy.  She will appreciate your efforts to open doors, offer her the best seat, and your good table manners.  Women enjoy feeling like a woman and being with a clean, courteous and confident man!